A Dark Knight
by Gunbladequeen217
Summary: Squall is in an abusive relationship...who with? and who will save him? rated R for disturbing content and adult themes. CHAPTER FIVE UP...AT LAST!!!!!!!!
1. Default Chapter

A/N hi everybody, this is the start of a new fic that I came up with last month, I think im trying to get across their characters, but at the same time getting my point across, and at the same time this being an AU. if that makes any sense.  
You should all know by now that my stories have a meaning and a point to them, so I want you to keep in mind what im trying to write about here, while at the same time enjoying the story.  
  
Please keep in mind that my spell check has packed up on me, as all you DarkFantasy217 fans should know, and im not the greatest speller in the world.  
  
So bearing all that in mind, we can get on with the show.  
  
Disclaimer NOTE TO ALL:- these characters are not mine, they belong to squaresoft, im just playing with them. I'll put them back good as new after.promise. Only the story is mine and all plot bunnies here after... cheers!  
Chapter one  
Irvine knocked on the wooden door. The door to the acting headmasters office. The door to Squall's room. There was no reply. Irvine didn't expect there to be, but he knew Squall was in there.  
  
"Squall?" he just about called out.  
  
"Squall, you in there?" he didn't know why he asked.he knew he was, just out of habbit he supposed. Without waiting for the reply he knew would never come, Irvine pushed open the door and silentlly stepped inside.  
  
In the main room was the office. Irvine knew about that. But what most people didn't know about the headmaster's office was that it has private appartments, just off to the right as you walked in.  
  
Irvine knew about them, only because he had had to rescue Squall from them.  
  
Irvine remebered back to that day. He had gone into the office looking for Squall, they were supposed to be going to the game that night, but unlike Squall, he was late by half and hour. Seeing the office empty he was about to leave when he heard a thumping sound. He thought he must have been hearing things, but when it sounded again, he worled roound.  
  
He had strained his hearing to listen, and when it came again he knew it was coming from behind the walls. If it was at all possible, someone was inside the walls.  
  
"Hello?" he had called.  
  
There it had been again, the banging, only louder and stronger, and more fequent now. Irvine had walked to the offending wall and placed his ear to it. He could hear the banging more louder now, and it was accompanied with stiffled moans and shouts.  
  
Irvines brows had crinckled in puzlement and wonder. "What the . ?" he had breathed.  
  
He had ran his hand along the wall, looking for any tell tell sight that it could have been opened, when his hand came across and groove in the wall. If u didn't know where to look for it, you would not have noticed it was there, he realised as he pulled at it. With a small click the hidden door slipped open.  
  
Irvine hesitantlly put his head round the door, and what had greated his sight nearlly made him throw up with shock and horror.  
  
That day had been one of the longest in his momory. Even now, irvine could still see the despiration in Squall's eyes, his pleading, his pain, and his want. His want to make it all stop, and for him to be safe. But even more, Irvine could still see the miliciousness in Seifer's eyes, that pure hatred, and then pleasure that he got from tourturing Squall like that.  
  
Seifer had made him promise that day, had made him promise on pain of death that if he told anyone what he saw in that room, or anywhere else from that day on, he would hunt him down and kill him.  
  
Irvine wouldn't have normally been threatened by Seifers empty "promises", but there was something in Squall's eyes that made him nodd his head and agree. Some sort of pleading, or shamfull humiliation that stopped Irvine from walking out of there and ordering the police in straight away.  
  
But now, Irvine padded softly over to the hidden door and opened it softly. The room was dark, it always was. Irvine squinted and through the darkness he could see, lying on the bed a huddled mass of white sheets and pale pink flesh.  
  
"Squall?" Irvine whispered softly.  
  
Squall flinched at the soft curves of his name being spoken, and the shamefull humiliation of him being found like this.  
  
He moaned quietly into the pillow, as he tried to move his aching body, but his wrists were tied to the headboard, and the friction caused them to bleed.  
  
"Ssshhhh" came a soothing voice over his painfull screams ringing in his head. Irvine sat down next to the huddled mass on the bed. Dark angry cuts covered what exposed skin Irvine could see, alonge with burns and whip marks. The sight of it nearly made Irvines stomach turn, if it was not for the fact that he saw this more often than not, and it hurt him to see the stoic brunett like this.  
  
"What for this time?" he asked softly, so as not to hurt the broken boy's ears with a harsh tone.  
  
"I.I.I don't know." He said honestlly.  
  
"He just said I'd been bad" he confessed in his child like manner.  
  
It always astounded Irvine how, in one situation, Squall could be so brave and heroic, no matter how unwilling he may seem, but then in another, he would curl up into himself and become a frightened child. But then again, Irvine supposed, something like this could drive a man, no matter how tough, into a frightened child like state.  
  
But no matter how tough Squall was, in the day, infront of friends, he seemed fine. Well as fine as Squall normally was around people, but his silence didn't seem anything out of the ordinary.  
  
"I.I tired to stand up to him, like you said, but." he left the sentece trailing.  
  
"I said no, but he wouldn't listen" he said in his quiet voice.  
  
Squall lifted his face, for Irvine to see a bruised and battered look cast his way. Squall's haunting pale blue-grey eyes washing grief over him like a tsunami.  
  
The pain and longing that lay hidden within those depths almost knocked Irvine off of the bed in their intensity, and Irvine couldn't serpress a shudder of anger.  
  
Squalls face was peppered with small cuts and bruises, his left cheek had a blue/purple one flowering along the bone line and a deep gash stained his temple red with thick blood. His lip was cut and a small trickle of blood ran down his chin.  
  
"Where does it hurt?" Irvine asked, knowing it was a stupid question.  
  
"Everywhere" was his simple reply.  
  
Irvine reached up and untied Squall's hands noting the fact that the rope had cut too deep into the fragile wrists.  
  
The rage seemed to boil over in him now, as he tried to control his blured vision, and the awaiting tears that he knew would come.  
  
Seifer would pay, that was Irvine's secret vow. How could anyone hurt something so beautiful, how could they want to?  
  
For as long as anybody had known him, Seifer had always been into bondage. Where there was sex, there was pain, and it was unlucky for anyone who got in his way, let alone got into his bed.  
  
But Squall had thought he could change him, make him a better person for it all. It had taken most people by surprise when they had announced that Seifer and Squall where going out, some people even said they made a cute couple. If only they knew the truth.  
  
Squall moaned in pain again, and curled up into himself, trying in vain to block out the agony.  
  
"God. it even hurts inside." He breathed as he closed his eyes.  
  
He remebered back to just a few hours ago, when Seifer had told him what he was going to do to him. He had told him "he was bad", as if he was chastising a little child, and that he was "gonna' teach him a lesson".  
He felt the resuring presence of Irvine slide closer to him, and place a shaking hand on his shoulder. He flinched, not out of disgust, or hate, but because of impulse. It had simply become a reaction. He knew Irvine didn't mean him any harm, it was just what he did now.  
  
"I'd have a shower or something, get freshened up." Irvine suggested.  
  
"I'll be here waiting for you when you're done" he promised.  
  
He gave Squall a reasuring smile, but it fell upon blind eyes as the shame and humiliation seemed to radiate from those grey orbs.  
  
He knew Squall was only just beginning to trust him, after all so much had happened to him, it was difficult to know who was your friend, and who was just using you.  
  
"Can't move, . hurts too much" he said, brokenly.  
  
Irvine knew this was the worst Seifer had hurt him, Squall would normally fight the pain, acting as though it didn't bother him, but now, he was rendered helpless to it, as he couldn't move for the agony.  
  
Fresh tears slipped down Squall's pale cheek. He wanted to know, needed to know when this pain was going to end, at the moment there was no hope in sight. He was foolish to think that Seifer loved him like he said he did. Every time he left him, even after his bouts of anger and wreckless agression, even after he had raped Squall, he got up, kissed him on the forehead and whispered in his ear that he loved him.  
  
At first, those words had bought comfort to a confused boy, but as it kept going, as the beatings and anger still continued, those three words became more and more meaningless.  
  
But Squall couldn't help it, as much as he knew Seifer hated him, he still loved the blonde enigma. He needed him, needed to feel him and his touches, even if they did come in the form of a punch or forced love making.  
  
Any emotion was better that no emotion, right?  
  
Irvine looked down at the shattered brunett, and shook his head.  
  
"Why do you stay with him?" he asked as if reading his thoughts, but already knowing the answer.  
  
"'Cos, I love him." Squall said quietly, as if he said it any louder it would become less true.  
  
Irvine knew he didn't, knew that he couldn't, he was just afraid. Afraid to be on his own and that Seifer's abuse was better that being alone.  
  
"That's a pittiful excuse for an excuse" he said with a small playful smile that Squall missed, as he lay down on the edge of the bed next to him.  
  
He could feel the smaller boy next to him shiver from the cold, and sudden close contact.  
  
"But it's true" Squalls said simply.  
  
Irvine pulled Squall closer to him and wrapped his arms around him protectivly. He sighed, long and loudly as he looked up at the plain white ceiling, the shattered knight shivering and afraid beside him.  
  
"You deserve better" he said as he gently stroked the tangles out of the chocolate brown bangs.  
  
Squall clung to Irvine, in a despirate attempt to stop his shivers, and a want and need greater than he had ever know to be held and kept safe.  
  
Silently, Squall cried, as he clung to Irvine, the sobs and shivers wracking his body.  
  
"Shhhhhhh" Irvine coaxed, rubbing his back with the flat of his hand.  
  
Squall knew Irvine was speaking the truth, and it only made him hurt worse. To know that he should have better, and that he could have better, but not being able to get at it. It only served to amplify his pain. Irvine was right, but what could he do about it now?  
A/N well thats the first chapter out of the way. This one came to me after watching a docu on domestic violence, and I knew I had to express my rage about it some how. This way I get to put across what it does to people, how it effects them and the people around them. I only hope some people can relate to this and find some small comfort in its truth.  
  
As always, R + R just cos you love me, kisses to all.  
  
Gunbladequeen217, (formally known as Darkfantasy217) 


	2. chapter two

A/N hi, im back.told you I wouldn't stay away for very long.  
  
So where were we? Ah yes.. Right, I think im just gonna get on with the story, enough rambling from me I think, no body reads these bits anyway.  
  
DISCLAIMER these are not mine, im only playing with them, ill put them back good as new after..promise...only the story is mine, and all plot bunnies here after...cheers!  
  
CHAPTER TWO  
  
Seifer watched as his Squall came walking into the dinning hall. His Squall. No matter how much time he spent with the boy, Seifer could never get over the fact that such a beautiful creature was his, could never get over how, in the light, his eyes seemed to almost shimmer, and almost glow between the most delicate shade of coral blue, and icy grey, and in the darkness, or when filled with passion his eyes seemed to go the darkest night indigo, almost pitch black.  
  
Of course Seifer was the only one to have seen the latter of the two colours, it was only for him that his eyes changes colour to that almost spitfull dark blue.  
  
Seifer watched as his Squall came shuffling up to him, those wonderfull eyes kept lowered for no one else to see but him. No one else should be allowed to see them, infact, if Seifer had his way, no one should have been allowed to see Squall at all, if Seifer had his way, he would keep Squall tied up in that room all day. But then again, too many people would miss him, Seifer being one of them, he did like to have Squall at his side some of the time, just to show him off, as much as he was putting the beautiful creature at risk from getting touched or looked at from other people.  
  
Squall reached the table that Seifer was sitting at, and in a lowered voice he asked if he could sit down.  
  
Seifer smirked, he loved having this utterly breath taking object respond to his every command. Although some times it didn't always happen like that.  
  
That's why, Seifer had had to teach Squall that leason, he had to show him that he was wrong, but as much as Seifer had thought it would teach him a leason, he knew that Squall had secretly enjoyed it. As much as he had given up those pleas for it to stop, those moans of pain had really been moans of pleasure, and those tears had been for joy not for the humiliation or the agony. No, Squall enjoyed his little games, Seifer knew that.  
  
Seifer nodded his head, and Squall carefuly sat, wincing slightly at the contact with the seat. But then again, his head was lowered and his chocolate coloured bangs did a good job of hiding his face.  
  
"Are you hungry?" Seifer asked in a flat tone.  
  
Squall knew it wasn't really a question, he was going to eat whether he was hungry or not, he couldn't let himself get thin, or people would start asking questions, and questions led to secrets, and then when people found out, it led to pain. Squall knew only too well about that visious cycle.  
  
When Irvine had walked in that day, Seifer had accused him of telling Irvine and then leading him into the secret rooms where he could find them.  
  
After Irvine had gone. Swearing to keep what he had seen quiet, on pain of death, Seifer had turned to Squall, and he could see the rage in his eye's and almost see the anger in every true word that he spat.  
  
Squall knew it was his fault. If it wasn't his fault, then who was it?  
  
Not Seifer, and deffinately not Irvine's, so then, in some way, it must have been his fault, and he didn't want Seifer to have been wrong and wrongly accuse anyone, so why shouldn't it be his fault?  
  
Squall shook his head  
  
"No thank you" he whispered, he knew he should have said yes, but he couldn't eat anything. He was just too tired, he needed to go to sleep.  
  
Seifer let out a long breath, and rested his eyes on the brunett.  
  
"Now I don't know where you've got this new attitued from" he began as he took out a pocket knife. He held it under that table and grabbed a hold of Squall's arm.  
  
"But personally I don't like it, and its going to stop." No one could see them, they were tucked away in a corner, their backs turned to face the buzzing hall.  
  
He looked at the smaller boy, his peircing green eyes boring into Squalls pale face. He leaned closer and lifted up the sleave on Squall's shirt, exposing the already scared flesh there. He pressed the knife blade to it, its cold metal tounge bitting the tender skin, its freezing touch a promise of the pain to come.  
  
"You'll do what I say" one little cut, a quick flick of the blade and Squall could feel trickles of blood, he flinched when he felt the blade again, so close to his skin.  
  
"When I say it" another cut, this time deeper, as Seifer's rage seemed to build up inside of him, and manifest itself into this tiny little blade that was eating into Squall's arm.  
  
"And there won't be an argument about it." He finaly spat.  
  
Squall screwed up his eyes as he felt the knife go it one more time, the deepest of all, he bit down hard on his lip, causing blood to rise to the surface, more blood.  
  
But then again, it was nothing a little cure couldn't fix. He had cast one this morning before he came out. All the bruises and cuts had dissapeared, making him look just as good as new.  
  
"Do you understand?" Seifer whispered.  
  
Squall didn't trust his own voice, so just nodded again.  
  
"Good, now cover that arm up and go and get some food." Seifer ordered. And Squall just obeyed, knowing that if he didn't, the punishment would be a lot worse tonight.  
Across the hall, Irvine had slipped in and was watching. He saw how Seifer carefuly moved Squall's arm under the table, after he had flicked out a blade, he saw how Squall tensed and flinched with the pain, and he saw Seifer's evil eyes as he took delight in seeing the one who so obviously adored him hurt like that.  
  
But that was the thing, Seifer knew that Squall adored him, and used that to play his sick games with. If Squall loved him enough, he would come back to him every time, if he didn't then he was no use to Seifer, and he would have gotten rid of him a long time ago.  
  
Sure Irvine had had a few partners in his time, one night stands and all, but he had never used them or hurt then the way Seifer did.  
  
For Seifer, it wasn't just about the sex, it was about the pain aswell. He didn't even have to be having sex with Squall to want to hurt him. Sometimes, Irvine had walked in, and Seifer would be there beating the seven shades of shit out of Squall, usually with what ever he could find. And Squall would be there taking it.  
  
When ever Irvine had asked him why, he would always reply that he had deserved it, that he had privoked him, and got what he asked for.  
  
He remembered Squall saying one time that Seifer didn't mean to hurt him, it was just that Squall got him mad sometimes and he had pushed it too far, and had only gotten what he deserved.  
  
Irvine's stomach had turned listening to that. And the anger that he promised to himself never to feel infront of Squall had suddenly come close to boiling point.  
  
He watched Squall now, as he slowly got himself something to eat. He knew he was close to breaking point. His fear was so obvious now, why didn't any one else see it? Or was it because he knew what was going on that it was so obvious?  
  
Either way, Squall was close to cracking, the way he shuffeled around, hung his head, and never made eye contact. Not even to him some times.  
  
It was so frustrating, why couldn't Squall see what that man was doing to him? Why did he chose to stay with him when he knew it was distroying him?  
  
And the worst part was, Irvine couldn't do anything to help, appart from be there after to help clean Squall up and be his shoulder to cry on. And that was all Squall wanted of him. Why couldn't he just see that there was a better life, that there was a way out?  
  
If it was not for the fact that Squall was being beaten enough, Irvine would want to bash that message into his head for as long as it took to get it through.  
  
He saw Seifer and Squall get up to leave, they walked across the hall and out of the doors, but not before Seifer threw a look over his shoulder at the gunner.  
  
Irvine returned it, with a look just as steely, and cold. A warning. And Seifer knew now that if it was not for the fact that Squall had asked Irvine to stay quiet, Irvine would have been straight to the police.  
  
Seifer knew he didn't scare the cowboy, and it was only Irvine's unrealised love for Squall that kept him quiet.  
  
Seifer smiled to himself. Maybe he could use that love to his advntage. If he could twist Irvine's feelings and use them to silence the cowboy. And the best part was, that Irvine didn't even realise that he was in love with Squall.  
  
Once again, Seifer smiled to himself, and hugged Squall tighter. He felt the boy melt into him, as if feeling safe, and Seifer liked it. But no matter how much he addored Squall, he would have to beat this attitude out of him. He could't let Squall go, he couldn't let him be effected by anyone else, couldn't let him drift away from him.  
  
He kissed Squall's forehead, and whispered those three little words over his skin.  
  
"I love you" he said with a smile.  
  
Squall smiled back, into Seifer's shoulder, yes, he knew it, Seifer did love him, he only did what he did to keep Squall safe, he knew that.  
  
"I love you too".  
  
A/N so there we go, another chapter, just setting the scene really.  
  
I want all you guys reading this to know that I don't do it for my own twisted pleasure, there is always a point to my stories, and I wanted to get this very poinient subject off my chest, to let you all know what it does to people and those around them.  
  
And what better way to do it than in the most contraversial way that society knows. This sort of thing doesn't just happen to women, it can happen to ANYONE even gay couples.  
  
Keep that in mind.  
  
So as always R/R kisses to all.  
  
Gunbladequeen217. 


	3. chapter three

A/N hey folks, back once again.  
  
I have to warn you that there will be some nasty stuff going on from here on in, its not nice but it has to be delt with, so if your not strong stomached enough, trun back now, for you dinner's sake.  
  
DISCLAIMER-The song used in this is by Alicia Keys and is called 'Never flet this way' and let it be known by everyone that these characters are not mine as much as I wish they were, im just playing with them, they belong to squaresoft and I will put them back as good as new after..promise.only the story and all blot bunnies here after are mine.  
  
After this chapter, updates might become slightlly eratic, as im back to school. I was off last week as some one hit me in the eye, but im ok..thanx for caring.lol  
  
So once again, if this sort of material offends you or you are not mature enough to handle its meaning and message, turn back now.. You have been warned.  
  
On with the show..  
  
CHAPTER THREE  
  
Squall had wanted to go to the party. Irvine was going to be there, and he really needed to see a friendly face. He needed to get out, needed to be away from Seifer for a while. As much as he loved him, Squall felt he was suffocating him, he was spending too much time around him, he did have other friends, why didn't Seifer realise?  
Seifer didn't want Squall going any where, he wanted him here with him. Not where everyone else but him could look at him and touch him. They had no right looking at him. Squall wasn't theirs, he was his, and only his. Only he was allowed to see him, touch him and.. And..  
  
No, he wasn't going, and that was that. He would do anything to keep him. Anything  
  
Irvine looked through the busling crowds. He saw Seifer, he watched him come through the doors in his usual 'I'm here, look at me' sort of way. Irvine hated him. He looked past Seifer to find Squall, but he didn't see him. Irvines heart fluttered. Seifer always took Squall everywhere with him, why not now? More to the point, what had happened now?  
  
He pushed people out of his way, sometimes accidentaly spilling drinks and knocking shoulders, but his mumbled appologies couldn't be heard over the loud music and livlly chatter.  
  
He reached Seifer, who stood a good few inches taller than him. A crowd of people had gattered around them, all wanting to talk with Seifer, to invite him into their groups and introduce them to their friends.  
  
Irvine wouldn't let him go.  
  
"Where is he?" he hissed loudly, but not so loud that everyone could hear him above their chatter and drinking.  
  
Seifer looked at him blankly, as if he didn't know him, or who he was on about.  
  
"You know exactly who I mean" Irvine spat, not wanting to put up with any of Seifer's crap tonight. If he had hurt Squall again..  
  
"He's not feeling well" Seifer said, his lie spilling over his lips like his white wine.  
  
Irvine stepped a little closer to the taller man.  
  
"What have you done to him?" his anger could be made out in his blue eyes, hidden underneath his cowboy hat, that he never took off, apparently.  
  
Seifer set his glass down and closed the small distance between them. His eyes bruned so intensly into Irvines, he wasn't surprised that Squall was so afraid and at the same time, captivated by this man.  
  
"Nothing that isn't for his own good." He whispered as his eyes almost twinkled with the secret knowlage of what he had done to his lover.  
  
Irvine couldn't waste time with this man. He broke the eye contact and stormed out of the big hall, leaving the taller gunblader laughing at his back.  
  
Irvine slammed open the secret door, his eyes falling over the empty room, the bed was made, the room was tidy, no one was in there. Irvine's heart ran a little faster.  
  
'if he couldn't fine Squall..'  
  
The panic began to take over him as he tried to think straight, if he wasn't in his room, then he would have to be..?  
  
"Seifer's room" he said allowed to himself. Without thought he stormed back into the empty halls and marched to the dorms, his boots squeeking softly on the tiles and his large coat flapping gently at his ankles.  
  
He reached Seifer's dorm, its plain grey door the same as all the others. Its planeness and similarity to all the others a statement to the man inside. Seifer was no one special, what did Squall see in him that made him so different?  
  
Irvine puched in the code that Squall had given him, if cases like this should ever come up, and the door swished aside.  
  
Irvine stepped in and flipped on the lights.  
  
The room was a mess, the chairs and table were strewn across the place, papers and orniments, broken glass from the t.v, and broken table tops. Clothes, and personal effects littered the carpet, and underneath it all, Irvine could make out stains on the grey carpet. Blood stains.  
  
His breath trembled in his tight throat, his eyes not wanting to see what was in the next room.  
  
He looked to his left as the door shut behind him and leaning up against the door frame as if someone had just left it there on their way out, was a bloody baseball bat.  
  
Irvine stuggled to keep his stomach, as he carefully stepped further into the bedraggled room. As he reached the closed bedroom door, he heard something. It sounded like running water, from the shower, at full blast.  
  
Irvine didn't want to, but small sparks of hope settled in his mind as he grasped hold of the door handle. Maybe Squall was ok, and Seifer had been telling him the truth? Or maybe..  
  
"There will never come a day,  
  
You will ever hear me say,  
  
That I want or need to be without you."  
  
He opened the door, to yet another mess, this time the bedroom. The mattres was pulled off the stand, its covers strew about the room, more clothes and papers, books were tipped off their shelves, and again as Irvine looked at the carpet under foot, he saw the blood stains, only more of them, large splats of blood covered grey carpet, soaked into the material.  
  
"I wanna' give my all.  
  
Baby just hold me,  
  
Simply control me,  
  
Because your arms, they keep away the lonely."  
  
Irvine stepped closer to the bathroom door, the running water louder and thundering in his ears now.  
  
Something cought his attention. It sparkled a bright white in the sudden light from the bulb, and it shone and refelected in the gunner's keen eyesight.  
  
Irvine looked closer, the light sliding off of it to reveal a sharp blade covered almost to the hilt with dark crimson blood.  
  
Irvine stummbled backwards, covering his mouth as the bile threatened to rise, hie eyes began to water as his awaiting tears threatened to fall.  
  
'there was so much blood!' he thought as he looked around him again, and then down at the knife.  
  
'so much blood'  
  
his attention turned back to the bathroom. He was about to grasp the doorhandle when he noticed blooded fingermarks on the shiny surface as if someone had been grasping to get in. Irvine pushed the grim thought out of his head as he opened the door.  
  
"When I look into your eyes,  
  
Then I relise,  
  
All I need is you in my eyes,  
  
All I need is you in my eyes."  
  
Irvine saw the blood first of all, before he saw Squall. The white tiles that were ment to be so crystal clean, where stained with a deep thick blood.  
  
Hand prints marred the walls, spots of it peppered the mirror and floor, there was a large and almost unrecognisable hand print on the side of the bath tub, which was now being washed away with more blood as it seeped from the wrist of a body lying there.  
  
"Squall!"  
  
Irvine wanted to rush over there. Wanted to help. But he couldn't.  
  
His mind was screaming at him to move, but his legs stayed rooted as if in cement. His mind couldn't take it all in. he saw Squall there, lying in the bath tub, the over head shower spitting water out onto him, soaking his clothes to him, the water turned rose coloured as it ran away down the plug hole.  
  
Squall's face, hidden under his matted bangs that were now plastered to him.  
  
And all that blood.  
  
"'cos I've never felt this way about loving.  
  
Never felt so good  
  
Baby I, never felt this way about loving you"  
  
A/N ..BUM BUM BUM.. What has happened to Squall? Has he finally had enough, or is this just another one of Seifer's twisted games?  
  
What will Irvine do?  
  
Will he even get round to doing it?  
  
(puts hands to mouth and screams "oh the blood.all that blood")  
  
nah, only kiddin, please R/R kisses to all.  
  
Gunbladequeen217 xXx 


	4. chapter four

A/N hi folks, im back. I was away for a bit cos I had my G.C.S.E art exam all week. But now its Friday night, im slightlly pissed, and almost ready to write chapter 4.  
  
Just a few more notes to give out. Thanks to all my reviewers, you make my writing all worth while. Special thanx to Redrum, im asuming you are a girl, so all her support and help and positive mental attitude (hear on known as PMA) has helped me keep sight of where this fic is going and has driven me to want to write more, thanx sooooooo much.  
  
Also thanx to everyone else, there are too many to remember, pluss im drunk so, ya know. But thanx for all your encouragment and for not bringing me down in flames.  
  
Can I remind everyone that this is a sensative subject, and requires a mature frame of mind (hear on know as MFOM- mainly cos if I had missed out the F it would have said MOMlol) so anywho if this material offends thine eyes, hit the back button with all the might of your tiny little forefinger. However if you are of the age on consent, or feel that you are of mature mind, and of a sound, fit body (not really for the storie's benafit, I just like fit bodies-lol) then you are free to read on.  
  
DISCLAIMER-The song in this chapter is by Justin Timberlake and is called 'Never Again', PLUS as always the characters are not mine but belong to Squaresoft, I am mearly the Puppet Master* tm*, and I'll put them back good as new when im done. Only the story and all plot bunnies here after are mine  
  
So, without much further ado and much aflappin', I'll get on with the story.  
  
CHAPTER 4  
  
Squall could feel someone carrying him. The feeling was strange to him. He had never been carried before. But he felt as though he was floating.  
  
Maybe he was floating?  
  
But he felt hands on him. Not the kind he was used to though.  
  
Warm hands, gentle. They were telling him it was alright. That it was arlight to feel alone, to feel scared and afraid, to feel trapped and vunrable.  
  
They were telling him that it was okay to want something else. To need it.  
  
He felt those careful hands on his face. Brushing the strands of hair out of his eyes.  
  
He was lying down now. He lay on a bed. Or was someone just holding him?  
  
Was that why he felt so warm?  
  
'Would have given all my life, for you.  
  
Guess it's true what they say about love, it's blind.  
  
Oh you lied straight to my face,  
  
Lookin' into my eyes.  
  
And I believed you 'cos I loved you more than life.  
  
And all you had to do, was appologise.'  
  
Squall could feel the darkness swallowing him again. But he didn't want to leave those hands.  
  
He tried to voice his objection, but he couldn't hear himself over the shouts in his head, and then the heavy darkness that was clogging his mind.  
  
'Don't go, please stay?' he begged, he tried so hard to get those hands to hear him, to tell them to hold him again. But it was the darkness' fault. It was getting in the way.  
  
Like it always did. When ever he saw the light, or thought he had found the answer, a darkness would always come and take it from him. He knew it, he knew that such happy things weren't ment for him. That only the bleak darkness was good enough for him.  
  
Was it because it loved him?  
  
Or was it because HE loved IT?  
  
Was it because he craved it's solitude and strenght?  
  
No, it couldn't be, could it? He wanted the light so much, he wanted the happiness so much. Then why could he never reach it. Was he too weak? Too helpless? Too blinded?  
  
Blinded maybe, by love, or passion, maybe both. Although Squall knew most of the passion was in the darkness, the black lusted after him.  
  
Did he love it enough to stay?  
  
'You didn't say you're sorry.  
  
I don't understand.  
  
You don't care that you hurt me.  
  
And now I'm half the man, that I used to be,  
  
When it was you and me.  
  
You didn't love me enough,  
  
My heart may never mend,  
  
And you'll never get to love me again.'  
  
Irvine looked at Squall. He was so pale. His wet hair clung to his damp face and he gentley pushed it back, running his trembling fingers down the boys ivory cheeks.  
  
A tear slipped free, and landed on Irvine's hand. He looked at it with remotness, as if he had never seen a tear before, least of all one of his own.  
  
Was there another way out of this?  
  
Another way to make him see?  
  
Why couldn't he just..just..Irvine didn't know what. He couldn't think straight.  
  
This wasn't how it was supposed to be, he knew it. He knew it, just as he knew the sun would rise. Squall was supposed to realise before it got this far. He was supposed to break free, supposed to start again, he was supposed to smile again.  
  
He was supposed to go to Irvine.  
  
He belonged with Irvine.  
  
It wasn't supposed to be like this.  
  
'Sadness has me at the end of the line.  
  
Helpless watched you break this heart, of mine.  
  
Lonelyness only wants you back here with me.  
  
But common sense knows that you're not good enough for me.  
  
And all you had to do,  
  
Was appologise, and mean it'  
  
Irvine held Squall closer to him as they sat on the disgarded mattress. More tears fell from the cowboy's eyes as he cradled the 'sleeping' boy in his shaking arms. Gentley he rocked him back and forth, humming a song close to his ears.  
  
He noticed how Squall's grey jumper was soaking, from both the water and the blood, and he suddenly remebered the wrist.  
  
He grabbed for it and found the open wound, the 3 inch vertical gash going up his arm still seeping blood.  
  
Diving for the nearest bit of cloth he found he picked up a small hand towel and wrapped it around the boy's wrist. As he brought his hand away, Irvine noticed more blood on his hand where he had been supporting Squall's head. And Irvine's thoughts suddenly flipped to the image of the baseball bat propped up against the door frame.  
  
He stomach turned but he couldn't waste any more time being sick.  
  
He carefuly lay the boy down.  
  
"I'll be back in a minute" he promised as he held Squall's face cupped in his hands, and kissed him lightly on the forehead.  
  
He reached the intercom and pressed the loud speaker.  
  
"Docter Kadowaki, Seifer's room, emergency" he almost screamed as he failed to keep his voice calm and neutral.  
  
He flipped of the intercom and raced back to the brunett, slowly bleeding to death.  
  
Once again he took him in his arms and held him tightly keeping the slashed wrist above his weakly beating heart.  
  
"Hold on for me Squall, please" he silently begged.  
  
'But you didn't say you're sorry.  
  
I don't understand.  
  
You don't care that you hurt me.  
  
And now I'm half the man,  
  
That I used to be,  
  
When it was you and me,  
  
You didn't love me enough,  
  
My heart may never mend,  
  
And you'll never get to love me, again.'  
  
Just before the darkness consumed him, Squall felt the lightest of touches of lips on skin to his burning forhead, and it cooled him.  
  
His aching heart and hurting body.  
  
But as always, the darkness would want more of him and as always he would yield to its demands. He knew he could never escape it. Its backness would swallow his light and bring him to emptyness.  
  
That's just how it was.  
  
But even then, as he felt the last tingling sensations dissapear from his skin, he felt an ounce of shadow lift from him, and a small crack of light seeped through in its place.  
  
A/N soooooooooooooooooooooo, how will the next chapter shape up?  
  
Will Seifer get his come upences me wonders???  
  
And will Squall and Irvine have enough courage to seek out one and other in all that darkness?  
  
Guess you'll just have to wait and find out.  
  
Sorry for any bad spelling mistakes. I can't for the life of me get my spell check to work, and so I'm stuck just using me own noggin for a change. (tut)  
  
R/R kisses to all  
  
Gunbladequeen217 


	5. chapter five

A/N Hey peeps. Sorry I've been away for so long. I've had lots of exams and revision to do. I'm in the middle of my G.C.S.E's and they're taking up most of my time at the mo, so I appologise for the long wait. So where were we? Ah yes.. I remember.  
  
DISCLAIMER: all characters belong to squaresoft, I'm just borrowing them and I'll put them back good as new once I'm done. Only the story and all plot bunnies here after are mine.  
  
So, as per usual, its on with the Squall and Irvine goodness.  
  
CHAPTER 5  
  
Irvine sat beside the bed. His head in his hands. This time he didn't wear his usual cowboy hat, but instead had left it in his dorm this time. Ususally he would have made sure he looked just right before even stepping one foot outside, but today he just didn't care. He had more important things on his mind.  
  
Three days after Irvine had walked in and found Squall lying in that bath tub, his wrists cut, slowlly bleeding to death, and Irvine was no nearer to finding out how it had happened. Squall wasn't awake yet and Seifer wouldn't talk to him.  
  
Maybe that was a clue in iteslf?  
  
The the fact that Seifer could no longer look him in the eye might indicate his guilt? Maybe this had just been another one of Seifer's sick games, but had let it go on too far, not realising the extent of the damage he was causing? Who knew?  
  
Irvine looked up from his troubled thoughts, and he saw Squall lying there. Once again his skin too pale, and his frame too thin. Since the doctor didn't know the cause of Squall's injuries, she was treating it as attempted suiside, and who knew, maybe she was right aswell?  
  
Irvine stretched out his shaking hand and grasped Squalls unmoving one.  
  
'Come on Squall. Don't let go' Irvine thought.  
  
He wanted despiratelly for him to open his eyes and for everything to be okay. For Squall not to be on the brink of death every moment he stayed in his coma. For Squall to realise that Seifer was no good to him, and that he should have better.  
  
When would he realise what Irvine felt for him?  
  
This was a thought that Irvine had not intended. Where had that one come from?  
  
Did he even feel anything like that for Squall? Maybe he did. It certainly made sence. It would explain his need for the brunett, his need to keep him safe. It would also explain why he thought about Squall all the time. Not just wondering if he was allright, but imagining him in another life, when he was happy. Not being hurt all the time, or being beaten untill he couldn't walk, or raped untill he no longer had the will to live.  
  
These thoughts made Irvine smile. If Squall could just be happy, even for a moment..  
  
And then when Irvine included himself into that image, it made him smile even more. Yes, it made a lot of sence.  
  
The door to the infermary slid open and Irvine looked up. He scowled at the person as they waltzed in, that ignorant look plastered all about his face.  
  
"Seifer, what are you doing here?" Irvine spat.  
  
"Well, he is my boyfriend, isn't he?" Sefer retorted. He smirked as he took up a chair on the other side of Squall's bed, and held his hand tightly.  
  
"The question is, what are you doing here?" he asked in a low menacing voice, his eyes narrowed as he looked at the gunner.  
  
"I came to check on Squall" Irvine said. He really wasn't afraid of Seifer. He could probably take him out, but it was Squall he was frightened for. Even though Seifer wasn't really a very strong man withought his Gunblade, love could be the most powerful weapon of all. And as long as Squall believed that Seifer loved him, then in the end it would eventually kill him.  
  
"Been checking up on him an awfull lot haven't we?" Seifer sneered.  
  
"Which is more than I can say for some people" Irvine retorted. In the past three days Seifer had been to see him twice, including the visit now. Whereas Irvine had hardly left his side.  
  
Seifer just snorted. Why should Irvine care how much he had been to see Squall? He did have other things to do.  
  
Irvine couldn't take his insulance any longer. He stood to his feet, the chair scrapping the floor and he looked Seifer right in the eyes.  
  
"I swear, I'm gonna make you pay for everything you've ever done to him, and it's gonna hurt twice as much. That's a promise" he snarled as he turned to leave.  
  
"You do and Squall will hate you forever. Now what good will that do when you're so madly in love with him?" Seifer taunted.  
  
Irvine turned to face him. He wouldn't start a fight. Not here and not with Seifer. Besides the fact that he wasn't worth it, he had promised Squall.  
  
"I know that you did this to him, and I know that you're gonna pay. I don't care what Squall thinks of me, I just want him to be safe from the likes of you!" he said over his shoulder as he turned to leave.  
  
"Why would he leave me? He thinks I love him. As long as he thinks that then he'll never leave, and he'll never be safe. But whats bugging you the most is that as long as he believes I'm in love with him, he'll never love you" Seifer spat. He knew he had spoken the truth, and that it was the first step to aknowleding Irvines feelings towards Squall. And Seifer knew Irvine couldn't deny them.  
  
Irvine turned slowlly on his heals. His breath coming short and fast, his anger just under control. He wanted to kill this guy so much, but he knew that this wasn't the time or the place.  
  
"You're sick Seifer, but he'll see you for what you're really like sooner or later, and when he does, I'll be the one who he comes to." Irvine had the last word and he turned to leave, the room quiet and empty of words as the door slid shut behind him.  
  
A/N, thanx for waiting so long. I hope you guys havn't given up faith on this one. There's still plently of chapters in this story still to come, so just sit tight, wait for my exams to slow down and just read and review. Sorry it's a bit short but there will be plently more.  
  
Chapters maybe few and far between due to exams but never fear, I will get this done, so just please stay with me.  
  
Kisses to all  
  
Gunbladequeen217. 


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